Which of these headline makers are fake news:
- South Africa almost crashes two passenger jets into a stadium in Cape Town.
- US courts allow for AI to generate child porn and it’s legal to have it on your computer.
- Splashing buckets of water at oncoming vehicles is a thing for spring day, one child died.
- Corporal punishment was handed out at a school by a security firm, and the punisher used his shoe. Battery charges have been laid. It’s not the first time. The security company comes there when called.
- And Dr Death Wouter Basson put on a theatrical piece about his life and the event sold out.
The answer is … these are all true. I don’t do fake news.
My name is Tonya Khoury, and this is Scratch the Surface with Acumen Media. Only facts and a bunch of tongue in cheek satirical comments.
The biggest story in South Africa today is not the winding down of the timer on the 60 days left until elections, it’s the fact that two pilots made South Africa headline news.
Let’s rewind. If you’ve been under a rock, here’s the #Airlink story. South Africa are playing a series of matches against the All Blacks. In the first match there were complaints from the Kiwis that us locals booed too much during the WakaWaka, I mean Haka Haka.
They whined, saying it’s an ancient tradition and how dare we? The Kiwis were frothing. It had nothing to do with them losing. Nothing at all. We got told off. We listened. The second match, the Haka begins and without a peep from the Saffers. You could hear a pin drop while the Kiwis stuck out their tongues and crouched on bended knees.
But did you die?
But the second that cultural event was over, two passenger jets flew over at speed, crushingly close to the stadium roof. One plane almost clipping the top of the stadium and both coming close to colliding. Fake it until you make it.
South Africans, heavily criticised, spun round and asked, “But did you die”?
That’s my South Africa. Ons skrik for niks when it comes to rugby and so the top story played out. Apparently one plane was as near as 12 metres from the stadium roof. And do you know what our Minister of Sport said: “Next time land it on the field”.
South African memes flooded the internet. And then FNB Stadium tweeted: “Same time next week at my place?” Timelines, every one of them high fiving those pilots. South Africans defended this behaviour with crazy excuses such as ‘We’ve always done this’; ‘don’t poop your brooks this is South Africa’.
We broke a record of the lowest flyovers ever recorded and our national pride GREW. What is wrong with us? There is something fundamentally wrong with us. #MakeItFake
Airlink became an overnight sensation or a means of condemnation for the conservative few (I’m one of them). With 250 000 mentions across the world in seven days. South Africa (and Airlink) hit headlines on every international mainstream channel.
Two headlines across the world: Nepal and South Africa’s flyover. Sky, CNN, Al Jazeera, all of them. A massive engagement of 6.5 million made this one of the biggest stories in the world, not just here at home. #MakeItFake
Spring has sprung
Eventually South Africa’s legislation woke up, and the Civil Aviation Authority is now launching an investigation. We love it, don’t we? perhaps that investigation could be an enquiry, then we can the watch it live on YouTube. We’re taking it seriously, now… the FNB stadium flyover has been axed.
Do you want to hear the biggest irony of this all? #FlySafair are the official sponsors of the Boks, not Airlink. Ha! How did Airlink pull that off? Even bad publicity is publicity. Deliberate? No, it can’t be. 12 metres? Shakes head and moves on. #MakeItFake
And here in Sodwana Bay, spring has definitely sprung; it’s hot and beautiful. Spring day is a big deal in South Africa. It started innocently, kids splashing water at each other. I have some hazy memories of dressing in civvies and water bombing classmates as a kid. This is truly a long-standing tradition.
But aside from or dire water crisis, today’s kids don’t use balloons or a cup of water, no china, they take whole buckets of our most precious resource, go into peak traffic and chuck water through car windows and at windscreens of on-coming cars.
Sounds dangerous, right? Well, a youngster was flung in the air after a vehicle, driving too fast for a spring day splash event, hit the kid full on. The kid’s dead, and now it’s not so funny and water can kill too. #MakeItFake, please
Deadly Dr Death and AfriForum
Something else deadly is Dr Death, Wouter Basson, sponsored by AfriForum, will host an event, dubbed Dr Death’s toxic tell-all, where Basson, a free man, sits on a stage and tells his life story. This man, accused of killing hundreds of anti-apartheid activists, is being sponsored to tell his story by an organisation that probably has a soft spot for him.
This guy wants you to fawn at his feet as he justifies his wickedness to you. The show is SOLD OUT. #MakeItFake
And then this story: a security firm is hired by a school to dish out corporal punishment to badly behaved kids. Yes, you read that right. It’s not a new thing, said the head of the school, how else shall we control these kid, he asked quite sincerely. This security firm is well-known for beating kids up with a shoe. It’s not a cane like in my day, but a shoe, and let me tell you a shoe can do some serious damage, ask any Mediterranean kid.
That’s not the point, the point is the security firm hit 17 kids so badly that some of their parents have laid battery charges. One of the 17 was badly hurt. If social media hadn’t got hold of this story, the security firm would have been there again today. #MakeItFake
Where is your rage?
And the story that should be headline news, the story that is buried under all distraction across international seas: Child pornography was legalised in the United States. Only if it’s AI generated though (there’s the loophole). Let me ask you something: Where is your rage? We all know how addiction works; you start small and you always need more. Start with AI, end up with real kids. What is wrong with us? This is not fake!
There were rumours that Trump had died, but I don’t believe it, and even if he did, they’d hook up his cadaver and pump some electricity into it so they can blow up countries with lots of oil, and allow even more children to be recycled. Suffer, little children.
Bringing this piece back home now. The biggest story should have been the impeachment proceedings of our sitting Cupcake. But to be fair even I got bored about whether the President can appoint an advisor to speak to a national head of state about his dollar filled Gomma Gomma couch.
My daily entertainment didn’t disappoint. The #MadlangaCommission, the Judge was short tempered and cut straight through the BS, even usurping the evidence leaders, by asking direct questions to crooks such as Govender and Lebeya.
Littering the courtroom with lies
Govender has this sardonic smile that he wear as he litters the courtroom with lies. He feigned crocodile tears at the end saying that social media had destroyed him. Wait. Stop. Stop. Stop. Did you get that, readers, it’s out fault! And the former head of the Hawks, Lebeya, arrived with such a babalaas that he was still drunk.
He slurred words and struggled to get his eyes to focus or his ear to hear the questions. It would be funny if it wasn’t so damn frustrating. This stuff has been going on for years. We heard an expert unpack just how corrupt our police and safety forces are, we’re in the world’s top 10. The top 10 most corruptible police in the world. Nice.
Cast your mind back further back; if you’re my age I’m looking for a 20-year rewind. The government asked us all to voluntarily hand in our weapons and they would all be incinerated as we came up with a well-intended campaign to rid South Africa of gun crime.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Nine thousand weapons came out of that exercise and all 9 000 were sold to gangsters. Every single one of them, and obviously every other weapon that was lying about and has been lying about ever since. This crime ensues until today and it is one of the reason #CharlKinnear is no longer with us, remember that? Ja, nothing happened. A bucket of cold water. #MakeItFake
‘Technical glitch’
We had justice finally turn up for Feroz Khan as he failed to appear at a disciplinary hearing and tried to pull a sick note, ah that old chestnut. Not today, Khan. Khan was axed as crime intelligence deputy. SAPS said: “No one is above the law”.
Maybe they should have said: “No one is above the power of good evidence leaders and a stellar set of commissioners.” Us laymen sitting in YouTube chat rooms are convinced these superheroes can run our country. It will be a doddle. Easy peasy. Make it happen.
Another contender for the top news story should have been the ANC forgetting to submit their candidate list for the elections happening in the next 60 days. They say it was a “technical glitch”; I say there is nothing technical about this glitch.
Next week, using Acumen’s clever machine, I’ll give you #Elections2026 data. Do you have a clue who to vote for? I think we all know who is not getting our cross and that’s about as far as we have got. I’m right ,aren’t I? Well, the data will reveal all.
Donating to Nepal
Across the seas, apart from the enraging kiddie porn ruling, I read that JD Vance said he was involved in God’s work and if that meant the end of the world, so be it. Turkey threw its weight around the Straight of Hormuz. Nepal, reeling, picked up their dead. Guess who helped this country while they are enduring this enormous natural disaster? Yip, Gift of the Givers. Have you donated yet?
Tomorrow will mark five months since my mama left her sick body behind. Most days I still don’t know how I’m here. After all my hospital stays since her passing, I wish I could show her how well I am. For the first time in years, I am well and I thank God and a very beautiful angel for that.
The wind is up so it may not be diving weather, but I’m sure there’s something we do during #HeritageMonth. Yeah I might do that! Keep it real, dear friends. Thank you for scratching the surface with me.
I’m Tonya Khoury 2.0 and thank you for scratching the surface with me and Acumen Media.
