A seven-day Acumen Media report by Tonya Khoury. Mom’s big birthday was a bash! Now it’s my turn, the f-word ‘fifty’ is upon me. I’ve stopped on the fifth floor and although you’ve welcomed me warmly (some were cheekier than others), I’m in a great deal of denial, so I’d rather scratch the surface with Acumen Media.
You and I have been on the hunt for a group of people to lead this country, and I am glad to tell you, I worked it out. It’s the advocates we see working on these massive trials being broadcast on our local teevee. #CourtTV has become a thing for me. It started with the #OscarPistoriusTrial where I spent a great deal of time working with exemplary journalists and legal brains alongside the Carte Blanche team on pop up #Channel199. Remember those days? The people that might help to save our country were there all along.
This week, I relished every single word from #ZandileMshololo, the advocate for the defence. She tore #TumeloMadlala apart. This oke claims he was #SenzoMeyiwa’s best friend. The slain soccer star was so close to this man that #Madlala called #Senzo’s children his own. This guy is lying like a bad imitation Persian rug and our #ZandileMshololo took that flying carpet and gunned it down. She annihilated him. And so she should. There were no intruders the night Senzo was shot. There was only a group of his nearest and dearest “friends”. How gross? Imagine you’re surrounded by those you love and one of them shoots you in the chest.
It was a busy week in court and it was riveting! For those of you who haven’t seen it there is a #NetflixDocumentary about this murder and that is probably the only reason that we are seeing justice unfold after years and years of delays, dodgy moves and side shuffles. The documentary pushed this country to justice. It’s a strange world we live in where it takes journalists to push evidence to a fine set of advocates that can finally put justice on the table. As with #Zondo, sometimes it takes the public to be in court for the wheels to start turning. We have a solution here South Africa, hand it to (some) journos and (some) of our judiciary. #SinkBeneathTheSurface
The judge kicked out all the media because a camera panned (but did not use) footage of #Madlala. Next thing we, the people, were kicked out of the courtroom. Did the judge watch the doccie? #Madlala told us throughout what a great friend he was and how much he loved #Senzo. Madlala is the star of the show, we all know what he looks like. Turns out he loved money more than Senzo when he took wads of cash from Netflix for photos and his appearance. He didn’t give one cent to any of his “second family”.
Look, I get the doccie, it should have been released or we wouldn’t be seeing this mess unfold, but to hoard the cash, and then to lie so blatantly under oath? At least now we know. Tumelo is no friend of Senzo and, much like in the #OscarTrial, there were no intruders. He twisted his snake’s tongue into knots to such a level that he said ridiculous things, things like he hid his cellphone( the one the intruders took) and he didn’t know the number for the police – seriously?
Then he did not have a clear view of the intruder and that he didn’t look directly at him and then promptly pointed him out in the dock. Another weird thing: You’ll remember that joker #Teffo disrobed in the court and caused yet another delay in proceedings, well, now the new set of defence council did not even know one of the witnesses was dead. I don’t make this stuff up, I’ve had my strong coffee but even I must double check myself to make sure I report right. The short answer to the Senzo mystery is that a fight broke out when #LongeTwala (another “friend”) arrived. And that is as much as we know for sure.
Let’s skip to politics because we are used to frenemies there. It was the President’s birthday yesterday and he turned 70, so I’m not sure why I’m so nervous about being 50. This guy runs the African continent. Surely you want to slow down at 70? Surely money and power become secondary? Anyway, amongst his birthday pressies was #PaulMashatile stepping up for his (Cupcake’s) job. (Side thought, do you think the Prez had cupcakes for his birthday party? I do!)
I digress. #Mashatile is a good friend of #CarlNiehaus. He kept #Niehaus’ fraud shenanigans low key. Mashatile faced criminal charges for that, though, and I wonder when the court date will be? These things happened in 2009. He is also a great challenger of the #StepAsideRule, and the gatekeeper for the #PhalaPhalaInquiry. Make your own mind up, but it’s a “no” from me.
Then #JacquesPauw dropped files like a boss, this time in his new book, Our Poisoned Land, where he reveals #Malema’s relationship with #Mazotti. You remember #Mazotti, the cigarette kingpin, nasty piece of work. Well, him and Juju are big chommies and they apparently share many “closed door” parties where all sorts of nasties go down and up nostrils apparently. #Malema is seething and has called for the withdrawal of the book from the shelves. It’s 2022 Juju, there is no censorship anymore. #SinkingFeeling?
Let’s speed this up. We paid over three quarters of a million rand for 20 #DonkeyCarts and they fell apart before you could say the word “horse”. #SAA’s deal was scrapped at the last minute when #Takatso pulled out. #Gordhan’s face was a picture and not a good one. Eskom gains R116 billion in pledges but needs 10 times that. TEN times – are you for real? It’s a #BlackFriday special backwards, you pay a fortune, and you get everything (switched) off.
Seven #TradeUnions and affiliates are meant to generate the mother of all strikes next week. This was shown on mainstream media where the potential strikers were wearing beautifully printed T-shirts and holding placards. There’s money for marketing, yet you are here talking about a living wage. Really, do these politicians think we are fools? Just like Zille saying our only choice is the DA or EFF in the next election and the DA (read Zille) is ready to rule. Please give me a break – there is more floor crossing with these two parties than you’d see on #StrictlyComeDancing.
We’re almost there, keep scratching that itch!
Here’s some numbers: #SANRAL “bungled” 23 tenders to assist the #KZNFloodVictims. That happened in APRIL! Twenty-three! Seventy-two people are still missing from the floods and there was not a word said. Six thousand people are living in buses while #SANRAL vultures peck at the bodies of our countrymen. #Transnet took the spotlight, too, as 40 billion in dodgy contracts has been handed to #ChineseCompanies. The price you pay for selling your country? Our construction industry in tatters. #Sunk. Petrol is up by another rand, remember the days when we would bleat about 20 cents? We’re just hemorrhaging money here. #WeThePeople. One good thing is that there was one arrest made for sabotage at one of the Eskom plants. ONE arrest, what a number.
Then #Valpre was caught red handed filling their bottles with local tap water. Yes, you read that right. This #Pitbull story won’t go away, apparently, they shouldn’t be pets, and then… I’m still crazy about Sonia, she’s changed her handle to “I was Sonia before Booth”. We adore you our #TupperwareWarrior. Go for goal!
#COP27 is too complicated with me, and to be fair #Biden told us it wasn’t our fault, so Ramaphosa is pretty much off the hook. We don’t have electricity anyway, so it’s a moot point. Apparently an #IsraeliGang was arrested in SA for attempted murder and drug trafficking. Is that all? Seems they belong here if you look around at our politicians.
And then #CharlizeTheron, not The-ron, Theron, denied her roots. She said Afrikaans is a dying language and only about 44 people speak it in South Africa. Look chick, I know you’re straight out of Benoni (like me – well Secunda was my real youth), but you better get your facts straight. First off you may want to deny your whiteness, but Afrikaans is a language that is alive and well amongst brown people too. Or did you forget?
I do take her point though. Wait before you lynch or cancel me too: I don’t and will never understand why Afrikaans is being taught as a second language in every single government school in SA. Why do kids in Soweto need Afrikaans? It’s a slap in the face to our children. You could say that Zulu or Sotho are not well documented for education purposes, but I call stewards – here in KZN we have newspapers and so many Zulu radio stations, one of which is the second largest in the world. Afrikaans shouldn’t be mandatory, but 44 is a stupid number Charlize THERON. Have you got that sinking feeling?
Let’s stay over the waters: #DonaldTrump is running for President. UKRAINE fired a missile at Poland – well that’s according to Biden, but there’s a good chance that he had his countries mixed up. Beyonce has more grammy nominations than any other women on this planet, yet the headlines read “Beyoncé and Jay-Z now tied for most Grammy nominations”. We see you, Beyonce!
Elon #Musk has made a right pig’s ear out of Twitter. He introduced blue or grey ticks at a fee of $8. For those who don’t know, if you have a blue tick on Twitter it means you’re the real deal, if you say you’re Donnie Trump, you are. Well Twitter taught Musk a quick lesson about the beast that it is. The next thing you had the “real” ($8 ticked) George Bush saying he missed killing Iraqis and the “real” ($8 ticked) Tony Blair responding with “me too tbh”. I laughed, but I am worried about Twitter, no matter what a cesspit it was, it was a truth seeker, now it’s just Musk’s toy. Advertisers pulled spend from the platform as we wait for Elon to be schooled. #JeffBezos is giving away two trillion rand to charity – someone tell Eskom.
I have two very exciting things happening this weekend. First this 50-year-old is going to jump into shark infested waters with a merman and second the #WorldCup starts this weekend. Even if the second one is staged, I’ll be watching when I’m not swimming. And with that I’m off on my birthday holiday, so you won’t see me next Friday, but if you watch my timelines you’ll see some epic footage of another planet where all this doesn’t matter.
Just sink beneath the surface with me Tonya Khoury.
