In the Lebanese culture, 40 days following the death of a loved one, the community gathers once more to celebrate the life that passed. It is when the sharp edge of grief starts turning into something quieter but certainly much, much heavier.
Today is that day for my mother. This week I’m not just scratching the surface of the chaos — I’m reminding every one of you chasing headlines and fuel prices that life is stupidly short. The scandals will still be here tomorrow, but your people might not. #ThisIsImportant
I’m paid to read the news, so you don’t have to. That’s what you’ve come here for and I would like to honour you as I’m honouring Mom today. Ready for a real dig at that surface?
The biggest story is so D U double L. President Ramaphosa is still belting out “I will survive”; oh no wait it’s “I will not resign” as the couch becomes a bit lumpy. Ramaphosa is heading to a 31-member impeachment committee.
Sharpening their knives
Don’t bother thinking about this too much because the ANC (obviously) has the biggest chunk of seats, opposition parties may pretend to sharpen their knives today but it’s moot, even the DA don’t want Cupcake to leave.
Should he? Probably. And then what? Tumbling rand, more chaos, infighting and who on earth are we left with to lead the place? Is there one politician that hasn’t been appointed by osmosis? On top of “I won’t resign”, RamaSofa also said the report on #PhalaPhala is fundamentally flawed. A bit like the whole lot, hey Cyril?
In the Q&A last night MK and EFF staged a walk out like the petulant teenagers that they are, while the ANC gave him a standing ovation like the well-paid performers, they are. This is classic Mzansi theatre. Whatever happens, what is certain is the “New Dawn” is looking more like a cloudy and very expensive sunset. #CiaoCyril #ThisIsNotImportant
The Madlanga Commission was serving pure comedy gold: Allegedly more than 20 bags of illicit drugs were picked up and handled by the cops, loaded on the back of a bakkie like a B-rated botched heist movie. Judge Madlanga grilled Officer Phakula harder than Chris Rock got roasted.
Did you sniff every single bag?
#Phakula lied like a cheap replica Persian rug about “smelling cocaine” from the bags. Justice Madlanga wasn’t buying it for a second. “Did you sniff every single bag, officer?” And how much of that sniffing was done with another drug lord?
These crooks think our judiciary is stupid, they are not. It’s us the public that are a little dim. Nothing, and I mean this, nothing will come from the #MadlangaCommission, just like the shocking and jaw dropping #StateCaptureInquiry. Can’t you see it’s all for your entertainment, this illusion of justice? #ThisIsNotImportant
I told you I had beef with DSD. Well, this week we saw that story bust wide-open as Ramaphosa suspended and then finally axed social development minister Sisisi Tolashe.
#SiesSisiTolashe has a rap sheet that is long and messy: undeclared luxury vehicles (worth millions) donated by Chinese officials to the ANC Women’s League (which she heads) somehow ending up with her kids, one of them sold; dodgy appointments including her special advisor’s 22-year-old niece as acting chief of staff on a fat salary with a allegedly falsified CV, a phantom domestic worker and a ton of accusations of misleading Parliament.
Fully exposing the rot
She’s not alone, though, the world is going to come tumbling down for the department that takes care of our battered and abandoned children, makes our gogos suffer to get their meagre monthly stipend, causes monthly chaos at the “thing” we call SASSA which is meant to feed a poor nation.
The rot in that lot has yet to be fully exposed. I hope this is the first of many. The department that looks after the poorest of the poor, needs competence not family businesses. #SiesSIsi! #ThisIsImportant
And then the weather? What happened? I feel like I’m living in a hurricane belt. I have never witnessed rain and storms like it. May is my favourite month in Sodwana, it’s quiet and it’s lovely and warm. Not this May, nope, my mom packed up the sun and left only heaven’s tears.
We’re meant to plant a tree today, the idea is on 40 days you’ll do charity, and the best of charity is that that repeats. A fruit bearing tree is perfect. Now I feel like I’m taking on an impossible extreme sport. I’ll keep you posted. My minor delay to perform a cultural ritual is nothing though.
Aaron’s muddy waters
And I am grateful that this natural wild sanctuary gulps water and weather easily. Not like the rest of South Africa where tens of thousands of people have been displaced and many lost their lives. The videos are quite shocking and the damage is like something we’d see out of the USofA. One set of memes made me laugh through all the jaw-drops and that was Checkers Sixty60 drivers now absailing or kite surfing on Cape Town’s streets.
Let’s be fair water transport probably needs to be considered when you see the galloping prices of fuel.
Talking about driving, did you hear about our Health Minister, Aaron Motsoaledi, and how his cavalcade hit a mother crossing the road with a baby in her arms and another on her back. “TeTah” we call it when you strap your child to your back, it’s the safest feeling in the world. And that was the last thing those children felt.
Aaron has a lot of muddy waters under the belt. He’s the same Health Minister who oversaw #LifeEsidimeni and recently Tembisa and Helen Joseph hospital debacles. Those dear kids man and their momma. Rest well dear little family. Heartbreaking. Accountability? Who knows, it really is subjective if you’re a politician. It’s from the head that the fish rots. #ThisIsImportant
Mel and Piet
To wrap up on this side of the world, the Gauteng Hawks head, Ebrahim Kadwa was arrested. Fadiel Adams keeps digging a hole for himself, his feet inserted and removed from his legal mouthpiece regularly. Joe Ferreira is in deep waters.
Former Ukhozi FM voice took the stand in Durban as a defence witness for alleged July 2021 insurrection instigator Bonginkosi Khanyile. Marra what happened to Duduzile, guys? We had that Russian thing and then poof, all gone? Really magic. #ThisIsNotImportant
Woolworths CEO Roy Bagattini had to step personally into the ring over the Beyers Chocolates divorce after 34 years – when the big boss swings, you know the brand is feeling the heat. Woolies always does this, don’t they? Steal secrets or bust the little guy. Why are we still patronising this brand; oh ya, because it really is a good brand despite it’s politics. It’s a true South African story.
Here’s a cracker to end, South Africa. Mel and Peet Viljoen are in US detention over that shoplifting saga. Mel told us this week she cries each morning, bless. It’s my mom’s 40 days, so get in line you privileged unpatriotic pathetic plastic media non-personalities.
And beloved publicist Maria McCloy has sadly passed. Life really does come at you fast. #ThisIsImportant
Thumper Trumper
Thumper Trumper touched down in China with his full corporate deck of cards: Elon Musk, Tim Cook, Larry Fink, BlackRock, and the rest of American big money. Xi didn’t even bother meeting him at the airport, subtle shade, a big flex and an empty red carpet.
Taiwan is holding its breath as this unfolds. Remember Iran and China are big bed fellows and the tangerine didn’t play nice with China’s tariffs. This time the battle handshake also didn’t work. We watched clasped hands suspended in space. Was good to see but it also frightened me.
If you ask Trump he’ll say the Iran ceasefire is “on life support.” And in the background we learn that BeeBee Yahoo made a secret trip to the UAE and also got the red-carpet treatment. Now UAE have entered into “coalition” for want of a better word.
Of course, some main-stream media will tell you this meeting didn’t happen, after all a wanted war criminal shouldn’t be jetting anywhere especially not to a country that purports to be on the right side, turns out that side is actually the wrong side, it’s genocide.
Scratch a little more and you will find that three thousand Lebanese were killed in one month during a “ceasefire”. The IDF are on tape saying that the mission is to make South Lebanon, the home of my father’s father, uninhabitable. A Gaza 2.0, gross hey? #ThisIsImportant
Stammering Starmer
Back in Iran, Italy and UK are going to be scanning the Strait of Hormuz for mines (good luck with that one). One of my heroes, Francesca Albanese finally had the courts lift her US sanctions for speaking about Gaza. Do you know what it means to be sanctioned by the USA personally?
All you Apple users will lose your phone and data access, all you Microsoft users will lose your emails and files. It’s a thing guys. Stammering Starmer is out on his ear, this is not important. We are missing one billion barrels of oil because of Trump and his handler. #ThisIsImportant.
Let me just put that into perspective, a million seconds is eleven days where a billion seconds is thirty-one years. And these are billionaires playing with our tiny pot of cash.
While we obsess over leaping fuel prices, political survival mode, dodgy cops and endless commissions, I want to remind you that the clock doesn’t stop. My mother’s forty days reminds me, and maybe all of us, to pause, stop doom-scrolling the madness for five minutes.
Hold those you love tighter
Put the phone down and close the laptop lid for a little while. Hold the people you love a little tighter. The Madlanga Commission will keep exposing rot. Ramaphosa will survive or he won’t. The weather will rage again. And oil will still be liquid gold. But your people? They’re not guaranteed tomorrow. #ThisIsImportant.
Thank you for joining me. Eyes open, but hearts softer, South Africa. Stay sharp… and stay close to your own. It’s important.
Tonya Khoury is the founder of Acumen Media.
