In late November last year, I hosted a brunch for some girlfriends. I baked fresh bread, simmered shakshuka, displayed fruit and grapes on a board, and fashioned a tart of brie and cranberry sauce. It was a simple but delicious feast.
This is by no means unusual for me when I decide to entertain. I love to feed people and witness their enjoyment as they eat. It’s something I’ve done for years. But this time, there was a fundamental difference.
For the first time in about 10 years, I thoroughly enjoyed every moment. Was it tiring? Yes. Did it take time? Of course. But I revelled in it in a way I hadn’t done in ages.
Something about that Sunday morning shifted something in me. There was no self-doubt, no second-guessing. I didn’t apologise for myself, for my food.
I simply basked in the company of friends who’ve walked through several decades with me, in the laughter and ease of a shared celebration. Months later, that has stayed with me.
‘I’m sorry but’
As I contemplate this new year, and see all the social media posts about this detox and that cleanse, and as we all resolve, once again, that this will be the year we get fit, get thin, get healthy, I’ve decided I’m going to be doing a mental cleanse.
As a health journalist, I know that while my liver and kidneys detox my body daily, they are no good for the mental cleanse I’m after. That will be up to me.
And for too many years, too many decades, I have not trusted myself, not believed in myself, not backed myself. That’s what I’m changing this year.
First, I am no longer apologising unless I have done something wrong, or hurt someone. Too many times I preface a perfectly reasonable request or statement with “I’m sorry, but…” or something along those lines. It’s unnecessary.
Be braver
Second, I’m going to be braver about trying things that scare me. I’m not going to start by assuming that I don’t have what it takes, or that it’s doomed to fail or flop.
If there’s something I want, I’m going to give it my all, and if I fail, I will treat that as information for the next attempt.
Third, I’m going to be the person I was always known for being – the person who puts in the effort, who does things properly, who goes the extra mile because it pleases ME to do so.
I spent so much of my time doing that for other people in the past, instead of doing it for my own pure enjoyment. That’s how I ended up with burnout. But it’s led me here, so I’m grateful.
Fourth, I’m going to do my damnedest to stop procrastinating. To get up and do something, anything to create momentum to do more.
Time is fleeting
I turn 56 this year, and I’m becoming increasingly aware that as Dr Frank N Furter sang, “Time is fleeting.”
No more wasting time and brain cells watching too much television, or engaging in too much doomscrolling. Nope. This is the year for the many hobbies and projects that bounce around in my brain all the time.
Fifth, I’m keeping my promises to myself. If I say I’m going to walk every day, I’m going to do it. If I say I’m going to do more writing for myself, I’m going to do it. I’m counting on you to hold me accountable.
Sixth, I’m replacing “I must” and “I should” with “I want to” and “I choose to”. Yes, neurolinguistic programming has been solidly debunked, but for me this is not about programming. It’s about telling myself a new story.
Years ago, I was on a course that taught me the difference between what happens, and the stories you tell yourself about what happens. They are very seldom the same thing.
New stories
And so, I’m going to tell myself new stories. They’re all made up anyway. I might as well tell better ones!
Finally, I’m going to give as much credence to the “What if it all goes well?” thoughts as I do to the “What if it’s all a massive disaster?” thoughts that can see me tossing and turning into the wee hours. Why I have chosen to terrify myself out of sleep in the past, I have no idea.
My liver and kidneys can work on my body. I’m going to be working on these seven positive ways to detox my brain.
I’m looking forward to who I’ll be by the end of 2025 if I manage to pull it off.
No, dammit, when I manage to pull it off!
Mandy Collins & Associates is a reliable writing and content creation company that understands deadlines. Mandy Collins, a writer for Change Exchange, is an experienced, well-respected wordsmith.
