The scenes unfolded on my screen and I couldn’t breathe. One mother, dressed in red, lost two of her kids in the horror crash. I watched as she was held by friends. She fought, trying to kick grief out of this horror. Trying to make this all disappear and awake from this bad dream.
But it is true, 14 children died in a crash in Vanderbijlpark. Biggie is the driver’s name; he’s in court for the murder of 14 children. He is 22, and didn’t have a valid driving permit. He recklessly overtook several cars and hit a truck head on. With that, 14 precious lives were ripped from the hearts of their mothers. The pain, palpable. The deaths, unnecessary. We don’t live in a #FunctioningSociety.
The (alleged) murderer declined asking for bail, not surprisingly. The case has been postponed to March. It did, however, kick one of our ministers into action. Creecy, old Barbs, went on a rampage of her own. She impounded 60 vehicles transporting our kids to school. Sixty… in one day! We are not a #FunctioningSociety.
Tiny tots on a cattle trailer
I watched videos of tiny tots being transported on a cattle trailer, their little fingers tightly wound on the bars to keep from falling. It’s not if it happens again, it’s when. We are not a functioning society. As I write this I’m reading about a school shooting where the teacher and others were shot. #DysfunctionalSociety
I’m Tonya Khoury and it doesn’t matter what Trump did. The death of these children is far more important than that #OrangePiel. I was asked to speak on the dangers of AI because some chop made a RIP card using AI and the faces of different children. How sick is that? I called it grief clout chasing, vile hey?
Is it just me or are you finding #AISlop everywhere? Sometimes it’s just rubbish and other times it pours salt on gaping wounds, dangerous and nasty. The AI companies have to do better. It’s time for them to self-regulate at the very least. You are using human beings to learn from, so what are you expecting? #Dysfunctionality
Perfectly functioning government payroll
You want to know what is functioning just perfectly? Our government’s payroll. Ramaphosa – our tone deaf, thoughtless, black book and furniture collector President – decided that R100k raise for each minister is a justifiable annual increase. Let me ask you, dear readers, when did you last get a raise? When is the last time you saw R100k?
Yeah exactly, this is daylight robbery, but we keep sending our kids to school in cattle trailers. South Africa has to grow a spine, man, when do we say stop! Enough! We criticise ’Merica and seethe at Israel but in our own backyard ,we really can do better. Fire the lot and make them reapply for their jobs. If you haven’t performed, you don’t get the R100k, you get to exit. #Dysfunctionalities
Some politics has been fun. I thoroughly enjoyed the #AdHocCommittee this week as a handful of functional politicians grilled Robert McBride. McBride was so cocky, he lay back in his chair and sometimes refused to answer questions and other times threatened to walk out. He refused to tell us what he does for a living, but a simple Google search will tell you he’s South Africa’s top spy.
The McBride factor
This man looked at the committee with disdain, he has had these kinds of functional people for breakfast. He lied, a lot. When he was rumbled, he dismissed it. I take my comments back about the chair, he was incredible this week. He banged Glynis over the head, put McBride in his place and then managed the hot mess that was the people’s viewing favourite, #JuliusMkhwanazi (not to be confused with #NhlanhlaMkhwanazi, and not to be confused with #JuliusMalema). I hope you’re keeping up.
#JayMkwhanazi is the same guy who sweated bullets and chugged #BonAqua water (or was it #Aquelle) as he was caught lying repeatedly about his liberal gifting of blue lights and his great friendship with criminal Vusi ‘Cat’ Matlala at the Madlanga Commission. Pitbull #Glynnis tore him to shreds and sweating was the least of his worries; he’s looking at jail time for the perjury that came out of his mouth.
Glynnis is brutal but I must say I’m missing Julius in this enquiry, even though Mathys does a superb job, Juju just has that pizazz, you know? Today we find out if Malema goes to jail. It’s his second offence and the sentencing for the case of firing a gun in public will begin this morning. They have already started marching outside the courts. Don’t roast me, but I have a soft spot for old Juju.
Remarkable marketing
Only because I’ve watched him come from the ground up with a marketing strategy that was remarkable, he hates me because I’m apparently white so he won’t be giving me economic freedom in my lifetime but hey ho, I admire many things about Julius. If he goes to jail that’s the end of the EFF isn’t it? The elections are around the corner.
Unless he gets like a week of prison time, then he’s back in the race and has a notch above Zionist Gayton McKenzie or any number of people in the MK Party.
Talking about MK, what happened to Duduzile? She was done for human trafficking and then poof, she disappeared. While we’re on MK, Brian #SaxonwoldShebeen Molefe has been made treasury general at the camo party. How funny! I told you HR is working, guys.
This news cycle is too fast, we’re at the end of January. How did it happen? The floods in Kruger and Mbombela took lives and livelihoods. When will we be prepared? This happens every year. I have friends that are stuck on a hill in the bush surrounded by animals who, sensibly, have moved to higher ground. My friends can’t get out to replenish their supplies but are having the best game viewing ever. Swings and roundabouts I guess.
From floods to day zero
While they are dealing with floods and procuring sandbags, Knysna has hit day zero. What happened? Did we jump to action and serve our countrymen? Nope we waited for Gift of the Givers to turn up with 100k litres of water a DAY to the residents. If you aren’t donating to them, why not? It’s the only functional thing.
There were fires that set the coastline alight. Many suspect arson, but it doesn’t matter, they are devastating and people’s lives are at risk. If you faced south, you’d see the ocean in the Cape and the waters were filled with naval war ships in what is called a “peace” jamboree.
The DA are furious because Iran was in our waters. They’ve since left and cupcake blamed Angie #ThirtyPercent Motshekga. It doesn’t matter. Dysfunctionality is our speciality.
South Africa is off another ‘grey list’. Remember when that mattered? The EU love us now, funny how that happens. Steenhuisen banned the pesticide that killed our kids who ate from #SpazaShops; he didn’t know what it feels like because he only uses #UberEats. Who is accountable for those deaths? There were 175 of them that we know of. Write it off to #dysfunctionality.
A depressing report
Oh man, this is a depressing report, isn’t it? Let’s talk about Trump to cheer you up. He turned up at Davos, vomited on the podium, insulted almost half the world leaders and chickened out of annexing Greenland, which he repeatedly called Iceland. To which Sara Gallow (Irish MP) said that Ireland was just a typo away from annexation. If you think this is dysfunctional, you’re mad; this is absurd.
Let’s back up a bit. After Trump gave the Oval Office a lick of gold paint he lamented that you can’t get gold in paint so now we have McDonald’s yellow arches at the White House. So apt! Laugh? I nearly did.
The state of Minnesota is imploding because of #ReneeGood – as it should. Are you watching, South Africa? Trump brought in the army. So, at his home, things are going swimmingly. He flies over to Davos, but turns back because they forgot something. Don’t believe that crap in the papers about safety, they turned that plane so many times you can just imagine the conversation on board. “You didn’t pack it?” “Turn the plane around.”
I laughed, did you? Okay, so, the orange piel makes it to #Davos and at the World Economic Forum #WEF where he ruled out seizing Greenland (or Iceland) by force. He called world leaders stupid, said that Somalis have a low IQ, bullied and humiliated women, said he’d stopped eight wars, and looked rather grumpy that no one gave him an award. I mean he stole the #Nobel peace prize, took a #FIFAWorldCup fake peace prize, what’s next? Oh yes, he admitted that he is a ‘dicktator’.
Even that wasn’t enough though. He used this opportunity to launch his “board of peace” proposal. The guy who threatens any country that looks at him is starting a board of peace. Said board is to begin its aspirational journey in war-torn Gaza, where the ceasefire has been contravened every single day. The day before he clambered onto the stage, three journalists were murdered by the IDF. But yip, a board of peace.
A million Russians?
Do I have to remind you that there is a war between Russia and Ukraine? Some say over a million Russians have been killed. I don’t know how that number was calculated but if that is so, we have a tyrant that rivals #Netanyahu on our hands. So obviously the #OrangePiel invited Vlad to join the ‘board of peace’.
Putin said he love to pay a billion dollars to be on the board of peace and that America can take the money out of the Russian assets that the USA froze and they can even use more money to help rebuild Ukraine.
He also insisted the Palestinian people be part of the process. Oh, didn’t you know that? Not a single Palestinian is on the board of peace. Netanyahu is, though, but he couldn’t travel to #Davos because, well you know, war crimes and warrants.
Canadian PM #MarkCarney tore down the house with a speech about how communism starts and how it’s time for America to overthrow their hot mess. It was brilliant for about 24-hours hours and then, well, you know, Trump arrived and wars broke out.
It’s the first time I’ve watched Davos in its entirety, and that is thanks to Trump. My life is incomplete. I might have to get a pair of those shades that Macron was wearing. Do you think Bridget moered him again?
Musk and Ryan Air
Talking about wars, Ryan Air and Musk had a bust up online. It was funny, Musk called the head of Ryan Air a chimp because there is no internet on the “affordable” airlines European flights. To be fair to Ryan Air, they covered a market long ago that Musk must be envious of. No frills flying to Europe at rock bottom prices.
No internet? The flights are about an hour, some even less. He ended the banter by saying he would happily introduce Starlink, but Musk must pay for it and it would be an optional extra paid for by his clients. Silence is golden.
There was other news. Trump banned 75 of countries from visiting the USA, putting the #WorldCup into turmoil as many competing counties are on the list.
Uganda had its farcical elections. Seven terms later, Museveni and his hat are still at the helm. Reports claim opposition leader Bobi Wine was reportedly taken by the army to an unknown location during President Museveni’s re-election. In a later update, Wine stated he was in hiding after escaping house arrest.
They found gold in Saudi and a massive diamond in South Africa shaped like the map of Africa, with both treasures contributing billions to each economy. Just like that, out of thin air. You want to know something? Greenland is full of natural gas and rare earth. Ah, but you knew that already.
The death count in Iran
I can’t go without acknowledging the death count in Iran. The numbers literally range from 600 to 100k. I’ve seem images of mosques burnt and Qurans set alight. That is the only reason I haven’t delved deeper into this story. No Muslim on earth, practicing or not, would set fire to a Quran. Something doesn’t add up. And now it’s very quiet. So strange.
And again, where is the #EpsteinList? Word on the corridors is that the content is so damning it includes the killing of children for sport.
Is it safe to say we are fighting demons out there? Before you call me a gook, it seems, to this religious person, that I’m watching evil play its hand over a poker table it owns. I don’t like it. But I read the news, so you don’t have to.
The weather has kept me out of the water way too long, I’m going diving, even if I have to crawl. I’ll make sure to tell the Potato Bass he has the best home on earth.
Note to self: Concentrate on being functional.
Tonya Khoury is founder of Acumen Media.
