Scratching the surface with a seven-day Acumen Media report by Tonya Khoury.
Good news or bad news? Good news! #Covid is over, well for the most part. Bad news? #WorldWar3 is trending! Worse news? #NalediPandor sent an ultimatum to #Putin. To be fair the comedy gold from Twitter was amazing with tweeters asking #WhichSouthAfrica was threatening Putin because here we love Russians, and chips…
Yes friends, it’s that time again. Let’s #scratchthesurface with Acumen Media
In South Africa we are not allowed to point fingers at any country, we are in a #StateofWar ourselves. There is more sabotage, fires and dodgy chess moves on South Africa’s chequer board than we ever can resolve and now #Pandor appears to believe that she has an impact on #Putin.
Let me tell you about Putin, Naledi, #Putin always gets what he wants. Always. Step aside and take a look at your own looted country where there is a small chance that you will make an impact. We are so ill-equipped to take care of our insurrections and now you threatened the most powerful man in the world? Sit down and stop your mouth moving. #TheWarisHere, Naledi
If you’ve been watching my timeline you’ll know that if there’s anyone to handle Putin it’s the #SharkMan. I traveled to scenes no documentary has even shown with all the sharks you could possibly name except the one that ends in White. I was led by a decisive man with clarity of vision. #WalterBernadis. I nicknamed him the #Matador because he can handle a ring of #BullSharks with a pair of black gloves. The bull shark or #Zambezi is considered the most dangerous in the ocean. They’ll eat anything. But here, I was led by a man whose instructions I would follow and would do anything he told me to do. Why? Because he is a leader and an absolute expert. That’s what we need to fight our own war, the one against the #RET and it’s insurrectionists! Leadership, vision and action. #TheWarIsHere, Naledi
I’m going to admit something that probably will get me lynched, but I swam with a #TigerShark so I have nerves of steel. Are you ready? I’ve always had a soft spot for #Putin. He speaks his mind and takes what he wants (not needs). I became a bit obsessed with him a few years back as I watched a barrel of videos of this man tearing through corruption and putting his country at the forefront of the world. Today, I don’t admire him, but I do know that what Putin wants Putin gets.
The headlines broke, like a snap of an elastic band too far stretched, #UkraineUnderAttack. #Biden gave some waffle of how he didn’t approve but took no action. #Boris said they should form a committee to decide next steps (he’s been watching #Ramaphosa’s tricks) and while this was going on, #Putin took #Chernobyl. A landmark and a huge milestone. #Ukrainians fled and very very brave #RussianCivilians took the streets in their thousands to call for a #Ceasefire. I admire those people more than even my own courageous South Africans who said #WeWillNotBePlayed.
What happened here, how did we get to this point? I’m not going to profess to be an expert on international warmongering because I’m not; I’m rather going to draw the analogy for you. Putin’s first strike was not at people, it was at infrastructure – sound familiar? He then hit the key landmarks – yeah, now you’re getting the idea. #NATO watched and waffled, a bit like our Presidency during the #JulyWar. The world is outraged; yeah sounds a bit like us, right? Putin wants ‘his’ land back; what is this need to cast our world back into the past to get property? This stuff is sounding rehearsed now, isn’t it? It’s from the War for Dummies 101. A poor self-help book with an unknown author. #TheWarIsHere
I watched the timelines flood with the hashtag #WW3. Are you kidding, guys? It’s more like #WW37 – don’t you watch the news? We stopped naming them in the 1940s – sigh – millennials. Ask a #GenXer
Let’s bring this report home for real; for those that missed the analogy, here’s local news. It’s not great I’m afraid, and to be fair, I’d rather swim with a circle of bull sharks than tell you these pitiful stories but it’s my job and that’s why you’re reading, listening and watching.
#RikyRick passed away, and finally we gave credit to male depression. #BigZulu brought us all to tears as that giant of a man was reduced to sobbing. Men are human. Why do we expect them not to feel? We have so much work to do in our country and sadly #MaleEmotions are the last on the list. #MaleDepression is real. #TheWarIsHere, Naledi
One of the top stories must be #Godongwana’s #BudgetSpeech, which received mixed reviews. To be fair, what on earth has the man got to work with? Thin air? I hope he plays the lotto, and not this corrupt one in South Africa, I’m talking about the BIG lotto, the one called #NuclearPower. (No we’ve moved on from Russia, keep up). And then, #DavidMahkura gave his #SOPA, yawn
A #CashInTransit heist saw robbers kill a cop and the attackers took shots at the police helicopter – a bit like Ukraine last night? Maybe I’m overstretching but you get the point. #TheWarIsHereNaledi
In other insurrection news, the #ANCDurbanOffice was vandalised. #Eskom suffered huge sabotage – nothing to see here folks – just our power supply. Eskom also handed out a #pricehike; we don’t even make a noise about this stuff anymore. Even when #Cele admitted he was shut out of media briefings during the #coupdetat, we didn’t blink an eye.
#AceMagashule was interviewed as a celebrity this week as news media lapped up his dogma. He had the audacity to say he’s a religious man and he prays for the poor every single day. Get out of my car! Right now. Just get out! Talking about cars, nine cars were torched at DUT. Still these #littleFiresEverywhere. The #BlueTrain has been put on stilts because of high risk of attacks and there is #typhoid in the Western Cape. Yes Naledi #TheWarIsHere
Our wars are here
I’m not done guys, there is more: the #SANDF chief didn’t bother showing up at the hearing for the so named #JulyUnrest, you see it’s not mandatory for insurrectionists. We also learnt more about that old warmonger #ArthurFraser and his covert spying bill. This man has too much influence and far too much leeway (sounding familiar?).
#Malema and #Afriforum butted heads in court for #Malema singing #KillTheBoer. It was futile so we should have a sense of humour. Every time the lawyer asked #juju a question, Julius asked the white attorney for the land back. A waste of public resources. #Redundant
A man was killed in the #CloverProtests, your war is here, #Naledi! A toddler was abandoned in the middle of a busy town, here’s your war, #Naledi. A man was stoned to death for abusing a six-year-old; where is your mettle now, Naledi?
Operation Dudula, and other linked operations raided our African cousins, yes Naledi, your war is here.
Good news though, we’re fixing potholes; can you tell the DA is in charge in Jozi? They are filling up holes with sand and turning off the electricity in the prisons. Oh well, it would be nice if they addressed the crime statistics that are up across all violent crimes in the country. It would also be nice if they assisted with the abysmal state of our education facilities or even if they fed the hungry. We’ll take your potholes though and we’ll deal with our own war.
Tom Cruise swung by #Hoedspruit in his helicopter. He said he tried to save South Africa but it was #MissionImpossible – we hear you Tom, and you’re not the right guy for the job, we’ve got “bad acting” in excess here.
Across the waters and even here in South Africa, Ye, the artist formerly know as Kanye is charging $200 to Donda 2. Actually, I think I’ve found the megalomaniac to take on Putin…
The #Superbowl was my best story this week. The #GenX generation tore down the house with a line up of legends. #holdUpYEAH are you ready for the #NextEpisode.
I’m Tonya Khoury and you’ve just scratched the surface with Acumen Media.
Want to continue this conversation on The Media Online platforms? Comment on Twitter @MediaTMO or on our Facebook page. Send us your suggestions, comments, contributions or tip-offs via e-mail to email@example.com.