A seven-day Acumen Media Report by Tonya Khoury. This week’s news was short and bitter. If I had to write a fairytale instead of scratching the surface with you, it would read something like this: Julius #Malema was taken away by the ugly fairy and everyone lived happily ever after. The end.
But this is no fairytale, nor is this #Wonderland. This is our beautiful corner of paradise and, according to some survey, 80% of South Africans want the same thing but we are ruled by Tweedle-dee, Tweedle-dumb and Tweedled-dumber.
There is only one story that dominated headlines all week and that was the #RedMafia called the #EFF. The #EFFMarch, or as they call it the #NationalShutdown, is due on Monday. They’ve spent a great deal of money on publicity and #Julius told us all it was a “peaceful protest”. He also said, if someone comes at you, come at them with twice the strength; he said that if anyone challenges the #EFFMarch, they must kiss their families goodbye before they leave home; he said that #Fidelity or #SAPS mustn’t even attempt to stop him and his “fighters” doing a “peaceful” march. He spoke about looting and said if businesses were open, they would be looted. But then told everyone not to loot, it’s a #peacefulProtest.
The contradiction in his narrative is typical of Julius 2.0 in his struggle for presidential power. The clever Acumen machine shows that almost 300 000 people engaged in this story with a negative net sentiment of almost 65%. We are not happy. #NationalShutdown, meh!
The billboards went up everywhere; so much money for marketing but nothing for the poor gogos who lost everything during the #VBSHeist. Which, incidentally, has been proven in court now and #PinkFloyd Shivambu has to cough up. Julius called this march a revolution; he asked the question, “What if this march doesn’t stop and it continues? What if this the beginning of a revolution?“ Sounds like a whisper.
Don’t you know that we are tired of hot air, #Julius? Don’t you know we are already in a #SilentRevolution. We are doing it ourselves, we are done with politics and electioneering. Even the taxis said “we’re out” which pretty much means your daydream is over, Juju. Both #MinisterOfAlles #FikileMbalula and #leaveyourHatOn #Cele told the #EFF to #Voetsek. The DA did paperwork for an interdict. Us? Well, we’re just here with our #SilentRevolution. Eighty percent of us are on the same page, eighty percent! Why do we have no one to vote for?
I tell you why. Everything you see here is deliberate. We are a dumbed down electorate, a little like education during apartheid. We are left with no options, so we only see what we are taught. The thing is, this is a strong and resilient nation. They think we’re stupid, but they haven’t realised that we don’t believe in fairytales anymore. Yes #Ramaphosa is a #Sloth, but we are not going to replace him with a set of thugs that have already shown their dastardly intentions. It is extraordinary that out of 60 million people we cannot find one soul to lead us. You think that’s possible? No ways, that’s orchestrated.
‘There’s no place like home’
Politicians have made it ridiculously difficult for a good person to stand up and say “follow me” through the political rabbit hole. It’s deliberate and it’s disgusting. And there is nothing funny to read here. Well, there is but you know what I mean. Let’s imagine for a second that everyone goes to work on Monday or if they can’t go to work, they just stay home and enjoy the day off as it was made clear “no work, no pay”. Wouldn’t the look on King Julius’ face be simply priceless? like a Mastercard advert. Pretty please with red cherries on top, let that be our happily ever after moment, just a moment obviously. I’d do a little dance and everything. I’d click my heels and say: “there’s no place like home”.
Right, I’ve given that chop enough of my time, what else? Well Madam Busi #Mkhwebane, the #PublicNeglector, took to the witness stand this week and you won’t believe it, (well you will) she compared herself to Mama #Winnie. This woman, just when I think she can’t infuriate me more, her and Dali #Mpofu turn up in traditional garb (no time to prepare witnesses but always time to co-ordinate wardrobes). Busi tells us how she is the #Superhero of South Africa. Well, her and #MamaWinnie. How dare she? How very dare you Busi? How dare you have the audacity to compare your tyranny to the struggle of the one person who actually fought for freedom in this country.
#MamaWinnie must be spitting down on you madam, because the one thing Winnie Mandela stood for was truth and she loved her country. She gave her life for this country. The audacity of you! #TsekBusi, take your pretty beads and enjoy your perjury court case today. #Busi told us, more than once, that #Dali was working pro-bono for the new court battle as the #PublicProtectors office was now bankrupt with the legal fees from the #194Enquiry. And who’s fault is that? Alice in Wonderland? Don’t lament to us madam, we’re just busy working on our #SilentRevolution, more than a whisper.
There was that farce of #BonganiBaloyi with his in out, in out, paperwork-all-about dance with liquidation and rehabilitation papers that were falsified so badly that the paperwork looked like a three-year-old got hold of it. Action SA, the clue is in the name, “acted” and hoofed his fraudulent paperwork out the door. Then #Molapo was also expelled. These things mean nothing to us. When you said “action” we thought “action” not reaction. Off you go to #LalaLand, join the Muppets or the circus. Both are suitable. We’ll just watch, shake our heads and keep that action for ourselves, silently but with intent.
Talking about exits
Talking about exits, there were some unceremonious ones this week. Lindiwe #MedusaHead Sisulu finally left and she was followed by #NathiMthetwa and others as they resigned from the ANC. As slow and painful as that was, it was action. #SlothAfrica.
#Zandile #SkunkHair #Gumede (the woman who looted KZN) was in court all week and we were not allowed to watch. I think it’s ridiculous that we have not been allowed in the public courtrooms of both the #NuleneGuptaCase and the #GumedeFamilyTrial. All are in public interest. What is the judiciary afraid of? It’s not like #Zondo and his team got death threats; well they did, but they were brave, be brave. Stop shutting us out. We are justice hungry and you’re reducing these stories to page 13 of the newspapers and once again leaving us to protest in silence.
I’m going to wrap up because this report is depressing me. I had two teeth removed in the chair this week and it was less painful than this report. So, for the crunch, deep breath, let’s just scratch the rest:
The strikes we spoke about last week have both abated. #WitsProtest is in mediation, why didn’t Wits do that from the beginning? #NEHAWU’s strike on hospitals and the sick was interdicted and the sickos had to go home, or back to work if you buy that. There’s a new female candidate for the DA and guess what guys, it’s not Natasha #Mazzone. Maybe they read these reports after all. SABC has been without a board for yonks. There is no water in Gauteng as they head for #DayZero, again. Mashatile got shatiled (Zulu for married). Santam bought one of MTN’s books for R400 million. Capitec’s client base is bigger than the population of Zimbabwe or the Netherlands, capitalists doing their thing and very well. #GloriaBosman, the music icon died. We are warned of food shortages next and someone stole a shed load of #SimbaChips, now that’s a heist.
Across the borders #CycloneFreddy claimed over 300 lives and #Malawi announced 14 days of mourning. All while the #Oscars were playing out on our screen as big dramatic names held little statues above their heads. Oh and to end Black Chyna closed her Only Fans account. I suppose that’s your good news.
I’m Tonya Khoury, I’m taking part in the #SilentRevolution as should you. Thanks for grimacing through the crazy week with Acumen Media.
